UnNews:Lance Armstrong took up bike racing to feed an addictive ego habit
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Lance Armstrong took up bike racing to feed an addictive ego habit
Straight talk, from straight faces
Sunday, March 18, 2018, 08:18:UTC)(
19 January 2013
LOS ANGELES, USA CA --
Armstrong said that having an ego the size of a small planet had made him difficult to associate with lesser mortals except Lindsay Lohan. He said other sports were considered but were already full of other egos but cycling was thought of a sport for 'gay Frenchmen in colourful durex suits'. So he took that up instead.
I loved all sports but when you suffer from a big ego, I couldn't let others block my road to glory. So I chose cycling and the Tour de France. The Europeans were not so good as me at the ego game so I found it easy to win. But as I became bigger than the Tour de France, others came into the sport and accused me of cheating. No it wasn't that, my ego had been challenged and I fought back.
The unrepentant Armstrong said he hoped everyone could move on and forget that anything had happened. He compared his situation to that time the TV series Dallas decided to scrub one season as a dream of Pamela Ewing. Armstrong added:
Walk inside the cubicle with me on this Oprah. The world world wakes up to hear me scrubbing down in the shower. So it all had been a bad dream and I can go back to racing again. It's easy if you know how.