UnNews:Kitten huffing receives Olympic status

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31 January 2007

Kitten huffing

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INTERNET, Somewhere in the US -- The ancient art of kitten huffing, popularised by a secretive cabal somewhere deep in the depths of cyberspace has been given Olympic status. This is seen by many analysts, sports commentators and celebrities as being the Final Step toward receiving Internet cult status.

The pre-eminent source of all information defines the ancient art as follows: Kitten huffing is a controversial practice that has recently been growing as a popular and healthy alternative to street drugs. Despite a long history in Western culture, the practice remains largely taboo. Excessive huffing has been known to produce undesirable side effects, including addiction, damaged sinuses, corrupted brains, which may lead to someone thinking they're something they aren't, and, in some cases, death. It is a general rule of thumb that anyone who huffs more then 3 kittens a day is an addict. Veteran huffers often caution against huffing more than a couple kittens per day as overdosing can be very unpleasant and quite dangerous.

Now the taboo has been broken, and kitten huffing is officially recognised as being "perfectly OK", but only at designated cafés in Amsterdam and amongst ranting raving liberals, you know the kind that might consider thinking about the possibility of perhaps, shock, gasp, horror, vote for Hillary.

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