UnNews:Kim il-Thatch honoured with state funeral

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Kim il-Thatch honoured with state funeral

The news outlet with approval higher than Congress

UnNews Logo Potato
Friday, March 16, 2018, 14:40:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

13 April 2013


Kim il-Thatch.

LONDON, United Kingdom --

Britain's Eternal Leader Kim Il-Thatch is to be finally interred in new tomb (formerly St.Paul's Cathedral) in a show of national mourning and relief.

The ruling party, the Kim-Conservatives have ordered two weeks of wailing and teeth gnashing to mark official sorrow that a Great Leader has gone for good this time. Those who believed Kim il-Thatch had died in 1990 will be sent to a camp for ideological re-training.

Kim il-Thatch's successors - Kim dull-John, Kim li-Tony and Kim gin-Gordon are expected carry her three ton marble casket on their shoulders as they walk past. They will be followed by a brigade of Page 3 Amazons supplied by Kim junk-Fox. and various celebrities and game show hosts as a mark of how much Britain has changed since Churchill died. An effigy of the President of Argentina will be then burnt by the children from the Falklands and fireworks set off.

Since her decision to step down to let 'the political pygmies' have their turn', Kim il-Thatch had remained politically active. She encouraged her fans to keep promoting her cause and had never ruled out a full comeback in case 'the silly boys' failed.

The funeral will see the current leader of North Korea United Kingdom - Kim dave-UnsteadyCam - make an impassioned speech to remind everyone what Kim il-Thatch means for him and the country. Then the eternal leader will be laid to rest and the former St.Paul's cathedral re-dedicated as a tomb to the Well Known Iron Mistress.

edit Sources

Personal tools