UnNews:Kim Jong II visits China – so friggin' what?
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
26 August 2010
Yonhap news agency quoted a Korean official saying that Mr. Kim's personal, private train departed on Wednesday. One report also said he was accompanied by his son and possible heir Kim Jong III. But the reports were all but ignored.
North Korean and Chinese officials traditionally do not confirm Mr. Kim's visits until his return to Pyongyang. But in this case they have announced it to dispel rumors that no one gives a damn where the nut-job goes.
The reclusive leader, who rarely travels abroad, last visited China in May, and no body cared in the least.
The visit comes amid renewed speculation about a successor to Kim Jong II, who is believed to have had a stroke of genius two years ago resulting in the decision.
"Chairman Kim's special train has been confirmed to have left Manpo for China's Jilin around midnight Wednesday," an unnamed Korean official told Yonhap news agency. The agency responded with a “So what?” attitude.
It is not yet clear how long Mr. Kim will remain in China or what the main purpose of his visit might be. But one thing is certain, neither the world media nor public gives a flat-flying fuck where Kim Jong II goes.
Meanwhile, former US President Jimmy Carter has spent a hungry, sleepless and freezing night in Pyongyang trying to secure the release of a US citizen detained by North Korea since January 1954.
Gary Gomes was sentenced to eighty-five years' hard labor for illegally caring what happens to Kim Jong I without a government certified, “care permit”.
There are reports that he could leave with Mr. Carter some time this century. But no one really gives a rat’s arse.
- Staff "North Korean leader Kim Jong-il 'pays visit to China'". BBC News, August 26, 2010