UnNews:Kidnapper Michael Devlin was President of local Mac User Group

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{{news|16 January 2007}}
 
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{{date|16 January 2007}}
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[[Image:Lego_mac_1.jpg|thumb|Some [[computer]] experts believe internet browser problems are rooted in the fact that they're made from [[Lego]] blocks.]]
 
Missouri Kidnapper Michael Devlin was President of Local Mac User Group
 
Missouri Kidnapper Michael Devlin was President of Local Mac User Group
   
'''St. Louis, MO''' -- The mystery of why kidnapped boy Shawn Hornbeck never sought help or knew people were looking for him has been solved. While Michael Devlin allowed Shawn to browse the Internet, the Safari browser on his Mac G5 was unable to render the page his parents put up pleading for his safe return.
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'''ST LOUIS, Missouri''' -- The mystery of why kidnapped boy '''Shawn Hornbeck''' never sought help or knew people were looking for him has been solved. While '''Michael Devlin''' allowed Shawn to browse the [[Internet]], the [[Safari]] browser on his '''Mac G5''' was unable to render the page his parents put up pleading for his safe return.
   
"Shawn Devlin did Google himself several times", said Victor P. Biggerstaff, head of the local FBI office, "but the Safari browser he was using didn't show the pages properly, so Shawn thought nobody cared about him."
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''"Shawn Devlin did Google himself several times"'', said Victor P. Biggerstaff, head of the local [[FBI]] office, ''"but the Safari [[browser]] he was using didn't show the pages properly, so Shawn thought nobody cared about him."''
   
Michael Devlin was committed to his Macintosh. In addition to loving young boys, he also worshipped Steve Jobs.
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Michael Devlin was committed to his [[Macintosh]]. In addition to loving young boys, he also worshipped '''Steve Jobs'''.
   
"Just like rap music and crack, Pedophilia and Mac users go hand in hand" said Mr. Biggerstaff. "In fact, if someone uses a Mac and Java, it's a near certainty that they like little boys--or girls. Alternative platforms and alternative lifestyles. One leads to another."
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''"Just like [[rap]] music and [[crack]], '''Pedophilia''' and [[Mac]] users go hand in hand"'' said Mr. Biggerstaff. ''"In fact, if someone uses a Mac and Java, it's a near certainty that they like little boys--or girls. Alternative platforms and alternative lifestyles. One leads to another.''"
   
Michael Devlin planned all the activities and speakers for his Mac users group. Last week, they discussed how to meet young boys in iChat, complete with live demonstrations. He also invited a cub scout troop over to see a demonstration of the Newton.
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Michael Devlin planned all the activities and speakers for his [[Mac]] users group. Last week, they discussed how to meet young boys in [[iChat]], complete with live demonstrations. He also invited a cub scout troop over to see a demonstration of the [[Newton]].
   
Next month, he was planning to invite Java pioneer [http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/crime/criminals/patrick-naughton/ Patrick Naughton] to talk about Java and the Macintosh.
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Next month, he was planning to invite Java pioneer [http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/crime/criminals/patrick-naughton/ Patrick Naughton] to talk about [[Java]] and the Macintosh.
   
"We need to find a new president," said Jason Pansy, Vice President of the Missouri Young Men's Mac Users Group. Without Michael's expert leadership, I don't know what I'll do! And his two boys were a great help," Pansy added. "He used them to model all the latest iPod accessories."
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''"We need to find a new president," said Jason Pansy, Vice President of the [[Missouri]] '''Young Men's Mac Users Group'''. Without Michael's expert leadership, I don't know what I'll do! And his two boys were a great help,"'' Pansy added. ''"He used them to model all the latest [[iPod]] accessories."''
   
Earlier this year, Michael Devlin conducted a [http://www.angryfrozenhead.com/articles/Winter2006/Rampod.html Ram Pod] workshop, introducing Mac users to this new way of enjoying your iPod. "I'm still remembering that one," said Mr. Pansy, as he rubbed his rear end.
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Earlier this year, Michael Devlin conducted a [http://www.angryfrozenhead.com/articles/Winter2006/Rampod.html Ram Pod] workshop, introducing Mac users to this new way of enjoying your iPod. ''"I'm still remembering that one,"'' said Mr. Pansy, as he rubbed his [[rear end]].
   
   

Latest revision as of 00:39, January 20, 2007

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16 January 2007

Lego mac 1

Some computer experts believe internet browser problems are rooted in the fact that they're made from Lego blocks.

Missouri Kidnapper Michael Devlin was President of Local Mac User Group

ST LOUIS, Missouri -- The mystery of why kidnapped boy Shawn Hornbeck never sought help or knew people were looking for him has been solved. While Michael Devlin allowed Shawn to browse the Internet, the Safari browser on his Mac G5 was unable to render the page his parents put up pleading for his safe return.

"Shawn Devlin did Google himself several times", said Victor P. Biggerstaff, head of the local FBI office, "but the Safari browser he was using didn't show the pages properly, so Shawn thought nobody cared about him."

Michael Devlin was committed to his Macintosh. In addition to loving young boys, he also worshipped Steve Jobs.

"Just like rap music and crack, Pedophilia and Mac users go hand in hand" said Mr. Biggerstaff. "In fact, if someone uses a Mac and Java, it's a near certainty that they like little boys--or girls. Alternative platforms and alternative lifestyles. One leads to another."

Michael Devlin planned all the activities and speakers for his Mac users group. Last week, they discussed how to meet young boys in iChat, complete with live demonstrations. He also invited a cub scout troop over to see a demonstration of the Newton.

Next month, he was planning to invite Java pioneer Patrick Naughton to talk about Java and the Macintosh.

"We need to find a new president," said Jason Pansy, Vice President of the Missouri Young Men's Mac Users Group. Without Michael's expert leadership, I don't know what I'll do! And his two boys were a great help," Pansy added. "He used them to model all the latest iPod accessories."

Earlier this year, Michael Devlin conducted a Ram Pod workshop, introducing Mac users to this new way of enjoying your iPod. "I'm still remembering that one," said Mr. Pansy, as he rubbed his rear end.



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