UnNews:Key to war on terrorism is heroin, says Karzai
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||UnFair and UnBalanced|
26 September 2006
Afghan President Hamid Karzai says give him the $3 billion so far spent by the U.S. to prosecute the war in Iraq, and he will give us, "heaven on earth."
In a yet to be aired broadcast segment until this Sunday on NBC's "Meet the Press", hosted by Tim Russert, Karzai spoke candidly about the possibilities of using heroin to wage asymmetrical warfare on "radical, fundamentalist, mujahideen, jihadist and other popularly vougue extremist synonyms for terrorists."
The cultivation of herion poppies currently represents about 30% of Afghnistan's economy, despite setbacks by the on-going war against the Taliban. "With the money now spent elsewhere, Afghanistan could have a more steamlined infrastructure, better cultivation, and the distribution means to sow the seeds of self-destruction among the desperate and hopeless in the Middle-east, the breeding grounds of terrorism."
Karzai noted that portions of the U.S.'s own National Intelligence Assesment suggests the war on terror in Iraq serves as a magnate, drawing more terror to terror. "What better way than a drug scourge, to turn the direction of these developments?" Karzai asked.
The 30-minute interview plodded along as Karzai groped for responses. He seemed to be a victim of his own medicine. It ended with Russert raising his voice to gain attention: "President Karzai? Do you mean they are drug lords, or rather war lords organized around poppy production in your country? ... Earth to Karzai! ..."