UnNews:Key Republican says more sexy emails should have been sent
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Key Republican says more sexy emails should have been sent
Where man always bites dog
Thursday, January 19, 2017, 03:06:UTC)(
13 October 2006
WASHINGTON - “Looking back, more should have been done. More sexy emails should have been sent to young boys, more money should have been routed to cronies,” says Congressman Tom Reynolds in his latest campaign ad. “And for that,” he adds, looking like a man who has to force the words out of his mouth, “I am sorry.”
Tom Reynolds is facing defeat as Republican supporters realize the puny scope of the Foley affair, the Capitol Hill scandal in which Mark Foley, the disgraced Republican Congressman, sent sexually explicit computer messages to teenage male interns.
As indicated by the last batch of elections, people only love Republicans if they can act bad in a big way, whether it's with sex scandals or funneling billions of tax dollars to cronies, or starting wars for no reason. Foley's small affairs have disenchanted voters, who think all Republicans may have lost their larcenous edge.
It is, by any measure, an extraordinary position for one of Washington’s biggest beasts to find himself in. Reynolds is in charge of the Republican campaign for the House of Representatives, where he is responsible for protecting the party’s 15-seat majority.
Less than a month ago he seemed to be coasting to re-election in this seemingly solid Republican district in the west of New York state. But a recent opinion poll suggests that his Democratic opponent has opened up a double-digit lead, leaving Reynolds fighting to save not only Republican control of the House but also his career.
"People need to understand that we corrupt Republicans can only do so much," he said. "There are limits to how much we can individually steal and lie, and we can only homosexually diddle a limited number of young boys. We're only human."
Next month's elections will determine if voters buy Reynold's message.