UnNews:Kermit the Frog found dead in L.A home
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Kermit the Frog found dead in L.A home
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Saturday, January 20, 2018, 10:55:UTC)(
4 January 2018
Los Angeles, USA -- Today at noon, Kermit the Frog was found dead in his LA apartment after multiple hippies reported hearing gunshots from inside his shack on the outskirts of the city. Kermit is famous for singing the song "Bein' Green", a song about depression and suicide. This song was, and still is, a great message for children, who, without listening to the song, may have grown up thinking that they actually mattered and someone actually gave a shit about them. Forensic analysis of the scene has revealed that Kermit committed suicide, firing 3 rounds into his skull with a Smith & Wesson .500. Kermit seems to have finally understood the true meaning about his song and has willingly embraced it.
The brain matter and skull fragments that exited Kermit's body will be shipped to the Smithsonian in Washington D.C to highlight a new exhibit about the many advantages of suicide, a joint collaboration between Russia and North Korea strategically placed in Washington D.C. as an attempt to make Donald Trump follow in Kermit's footsteps. As the entire world prays for this to occur, we must credit Kermit, our potential Savior, for sacrificing himself for the American cause. He is now a martyr for the liberation of America from its evil rule from the spawn of Satan we have dubbed "Donald Trump".
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|