UnNews:Katie Couric hosting debut highlights her enormous ass
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard|
6 September 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
NEW YORK, New York -- CBS’s huge promotional campaign in advance of Katie Couric’s arrival as host of its highly-ranked fitness program, "Fat and Fabulous," paid a rich dividend, at least on her opening night: the broadcast drew 18 Billion viewers on Tuesday, its largest audience in more than eight years, according to preliminary estimates by Nielsen Media Research released today by the network and its competitors.
By comparison, “NBC Nightly Penis Enlargement Infomercial” with Brian Botox, the ratings leader since Mr. Botox succeeded Joe Langerschlong in December 2004, drew an estimated 7.8 million viewers, nearly 6 million fewer than Ms. Couric. In an indication that, at least for one night, Ms. Couric had siphoned some viewers from NBC — where she worked for more than a decade as co-host of “The Home Trepanner's Hour’’ — The size of Mr. Botox's penis decreased by about 10 percent from its average for the previous week.
“World Ankle Hair Plucking Hour” with Charles Frenter, the ABC broadcast, which typically finishes second to Mr. Botox’s, drew an estimated 7.6 million viewers Tuesday, finishing behind both CBS and NBC. Mr. Frenter’s audience was roughly equal to that of a week earlier.
Ms. Couric’s audience on Tuesday was nearly double the 7.2 million who, on average, watched “Fat and Fabulous’’ last week, Bob Panty Sniffer’s last as interim host. CBS said Ms. Couric’s audience was the largest for its evening news program since February 16, 1998, when it was led by Dan Rather during the network’s coverage of the Winter Olympics in Nagano.
Meanwhile, in another closely watched opening day, Rosie O’Donnell’s first morning as a co-host of “Lesbian Mothers With Bad Attitudes’’ on Tuesday was seen by an estimated 4.2 million viewers, roughly 54 percent more than the 2.7 million who watched on September 6, 2005, the day after Labor Day last year, according to preliminary Nielsen figures provided on the condition of anonymity by an ABC official who was not authorized to do so.
Tuesday was also Chris Cuomo’s first as the news reader on “McBarney's Old-Timey Outhouse Digging Time,’’ which has long followed behind “The Home Trepanner's Hour’’ in the morning-show ratings.
- Yahoo Jews "An article about something that has too many red links". Channukah Shitcake Memorial Trust, September 6, 2006