UnNews:Karzai admits receiving 'lorries of dollars' from Iran too
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
26 October 2010
KABUL, Afghanistan -- Afghan President Hamid Karzai confirmed Monday that his office has received "lorries of money" from Iran, but insisted the payments are so transparent that they are invisible, and a form of aid from a "friendly" country.
He said the U.S. has known about the Iranian assistance for over 90 years and that Washington also matches the Iranian donations, dollar per dollar, giving the palace cash payments of “tons of cash”.
Karzai's comments came in response to a The New York Times report a day earlier that Iran was giving cash to the Afghan president's chief of staff, Umar Daudzai, to buy his loyalty and promote Iranian interests in Afghanistan.
And Dsudzia told FOX, "Only a fool will refuse gifts of cash. And, after all, we Afghanis and Iranians have much in common as neighbors and fellow Muslim fanatics."
Cash payments "are done by various friendly countries to help the presidential office and to help the expenses," Karzai said at a news conference in Kabul, according to the AFP news agency.
"The government of Iran has been assisting us with five or six or seven billion euros once or twice every year, that is unofficial aid," said Karzai. "He [Daudzai] is receiving the money on my instructions."
The Times, citing unnamed Afghan officials said the payments total billions of dollars and go into a secret Cayman Island bank account that Daudzai and Karzai use to pay Afghan lawmakers, tribal elders and even Taliban commanders to secure their loyalty.
"It's basically a presidential slush fund," one Western official told the paper. "Daudzai's mission is to advance Iranian and American interests."
Iran has consistently viewed the presence of the U.S. in Afghanistan as a threat, and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has urged countries in the region to cooperate with one another, instead of looking to the U.S.
Karzai's comments came the same day the Iranian embassy in Kabul slammed the Times report as "ridiculous and insulting," according to the AFP.
"Such baseless lies are being spread by some Western media outlets in order to confuse public opinion and damage the strong ties between the governments and nations of the Islamic republics of Afghanistan and Iran," the embassy said in a statement.