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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, October 20, 2016, 19:50:UTC)(
21 September 2006
KUALA LUMPAR, New York -- At 15:00 GMT, plans for a KBM rocket prototype were uncovered at the Rockefeller Skating Arena. The designs were in a format that could be only seen by huffing kittens. The plans had to be rushed to Some Guy's basement to prevent the authorities from confiscating them. As the image shows, the missles have the ability to wipe a smile off Frank Zappas face.
KIA (CIA counterpart) is attempting to locate the origin of the prototypes. Here is what KIA director John D. Kittenponte had to say. "We are using our best addicts, er- agents to find the origins of these designs. It is possible that the Iranians are following such a design. If so, we may be in for a kitten Spring" Secratary of State Condalleeza Rice also had something to say on the matter. " The Bushy association would like to add that this is the work of terrorists, just like everything else. Now who wants to see my boobs?" Two fellow reporters promptly committed seppuku at this statement.
U.S. Senators are suggesting that the U.S. should build these weapons and use them as proof of W.M.S. in Iran. W.M.S. stands for Weapons of Mass Stupidity, a newly developed technology resulting from waste after use of Stupidity reactors. Bush overheard this and said " Ohhh, something not nucular? Yaaay, kittys! Laaa, kitty tastes gooood."
No one is protesting these weapons, not even PETA. In fact, they support it. " Its about time those stupid kitties were put to good use. I mean really, all they do is fuck and shit. I say, BURN KITTIES, BURN!" commented Ingrid Newkirk President of PETA.
Long Live I-Ran! says Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
- UnNews "Evidence says stupidity linked to presidents who can't pronounce "nuclear" properly". The Interweb, September 21, 2006