UnNews:Justin Timberlake: is he bringing Sexy back?

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
UnNews Logo Potato
WARNING!!! This article contains Misinformation, about which the audio reader knows nothing. Neither does the audio reader care. The audio reader is just here to do his/her fucking job, for the love of Mother Mary and Joseph! The audio reader does not understand this article, and therefore, does not care what the hell this article is about. Can the audio reader possibly make it any more clear? If so, kindly leave off.



Justin Timberlake: is he bringing Sexy back?

Democracy Dies with Dignity

UnNews Logo Potato
Thursday, August 24, 2017, 01:32:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

12 December 2006


Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
Lake o

Just in Timber Lake

JACKSON COUNTY, Minnesota -- In July 2006 of this year, Director Justin Timberlake released a testimony stating that he was bringing Sexy back. However, with recent research showing levels of Sexy have infact decreased over the past few months, Many are questioning Justin's chops.

Nonbelievers quote the 2003 Rock Your Body disaster, where Timberlake claimed he would "Have you naked by the end of this song". Merely 7 weeks after this statement, scientists had performed many exhaustive tests with the actual results being a mere 8.2% of listeners becoming naked by the end. Nonbelievers then cover their ears with their hands, shut their eyes and scream The Banana Bunch theme tune over and over again. A representative for Mr Timberlake has issued a statement at a recent press conference, hoping to reprimand these claims. '"Rome wasn't built in a day, y'know - Bringing Sexy Back takes time. Justin Timberlake is wasting away precious blood, sweat and tears trying to achieve his promises."' When questioned about how Justin would be bringing sexy back, the representative said '"I can't tell you - but it's going to be massive. Expect big changes for 2007."' It then turned out the representative thought the question was 'How are your prize marrows doing?'. Oh, how we laughed.

Some people, however, are unimpressed. James Brown has been quoted as saying (in a British accent); '"Justin Timberlake can blow it out of his arse. The man is clearly writing cheques he can't cash."'

Famous birds-turned-rockstars The Eagles Of Death Metal, however, are firm fans of Sexy and promise they will continue to support the development of Sexy, as well as supporting J-Tim.

edit Sources

Right Click and go to "View Source".

Personal tools
projects