UnNews:Justin Timberlake: is he bringing Sexy back?
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Justin Timberlake: is he bringing Sexy back?
Democracy Dies with Dignity
Thursday, August 24, 2017, 01:32:UTC)(
12 December 2006
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JACKSON COUNTY, Minnesota -- In July 2006 of this year, Director Justin Timberlake released a testimony stating that he was bringing Sexy back. However, with recent research showing levels of Sexy have infact decreased over the past few months, Many are questioning Justin's chops.
Nonbelievers quote the 2003 Rock Your Body disaster, where Timberlake claimed he would "Have you naked by the end of this song". Merely 7 weeks after this statement, scientists had performed many exhaustive tests with the actual results being a mere 8.2% of listeners becoming naked by the end. Nonbelievers then cover their ears with their hands, shut their eyes and scream The Banana Bunch theme tune over and over again. A representative for Mr Timberlake has issued a statement at a recent press conference, hoping to reprimand these claims. '"Rome wasn't built in a day, y'know - Bringing Sexy Back takes time. Justin Timberlake is wasting away precious blood, sweat and tears trying to achieve his promises."' When questioned about how Justin would be bringing sexy back, the representative said '"I can't tell you - but it's going to be massive. Expect big changes for 2007."' It then turned out the representative thought the question was 'How are your prize marrows doing?'. Oh, how we laughed.
Some people, however, are unimpressed. James Brown has been quoted as saying (in a British accent); '"Justin Timberlake can blow it out of his arse. The man is clearly writing cheques he can't cash."'
Famous birds-turned-rockstars The Eagles Of Death Metal, however, are firm fans of Sexy and promise they will continue to support the development of Sexy, as well as supporting J-Tim.
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