UnNews:Justin Bieber bombs in Israel
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Justin Bieber bombs in Israel
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, October 26, 2016, 00:41:UTC)(
14 April 2011
JERUSALEM, Israel -- In an effort of diplomacy after the shunning of Israel by Americans, President Barack Obama sent Canadian/American entertainer Justin Bieber to Jerusalem to bring peace to the Middle East since Bieber wasn't an American and might actually have a chance in negotiating. Upon his arrival, Bieber was attacked by screaming citizens as they hated America's rejection of Israel and also his brand of secular pop music. He went there to meet with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on negotiations between the U.S. and Israel.
Bieber said to Netanyahu:
|“||Yeah, I think, though I was originally Canadian, I have an obligation to the nation that gave me fame to save the diminishing relations between America and Israel. Although I am a mere seventeen and am not even eligible to vote in America, I do hope we can reach a negotiation. I promise I will not sing to you if we can work something out.||”|
|“||Many thanks for your effort, Ms. Bieber, but I think your President should've sent a real ambassador and not a young lass like yourself to this meeting. He has a reputation for this sort of thing. Please leave my office at once and tell your President to send a real steward of peace.||”|
He had not accomplished his goal of better relations between the U.S. and Israel, but he is still being attacked by young denizens of Israel for his autotune masters and mediocre diplomacy. Bieber indirectly caused the deaths of eighteen citizens. His whereabouts in Israel are currently unknown.