UnNews:John McCain in Syria named new face of global terror
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
John McCain in Syria named new face of global terror
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, November 27, 2015, 23:01:UTC)(
29 May 2013
“If you can't beat 'em, and you can't join 'em, then give 'em a job!”
SYRIA -- Perennial battle-axe, Sen. John McCain, POW-AZ, illegally entered Syria on Monday, where he joined al Qaeda
terrorists freedom fighters and formally took over as new rebel leader, terrorist spokesman, Mustafa Ibrahim, confirmed to CNN . This move makes McCain the highest ranking elected official from the United States to ever enter Syria without a valid tourist visa.
Mustafa confirmed a report that originally appeared in The Daily Beast, which indicated McCain entered Syria through Turkey, and he plans to remain in the country to lead the rebels, “until the scourge of secularism is demolished!”
McCain initially spent about an hour crawling through a tunnel across the Syrian-Turkish border, along with Rebel subordinates from various parts of the Muslim world including Saudi Arabia, Turkey, and Washington D.C. After sneaking into Syria, McCain met with Imam Salem, the leader of the Al Qaeda Military Council of Syria, according to dubious corporate media reports.
McCain has always been the leading voice in Congress for a greater military role in ending the Vietnam war, which has been raging for more than six decades, and in recent years has spilled over into neighboring Iraq, Libya and Syria, all of which are important countries controlled by democracy-hating, infidel, unashamed secularists.
Immediately upon arrival in Syria the old war pig suggested establishing "strafe zones" where US funded Syrian rebels can fly drones over civilian neighborhoods to strafe the people; the purpose of such barbarism being to cast blame on the Syrian government, who are dastardly and the only possible culprits with a motive.
In their meeting with McCain, sub-leaders of the Syrian terrorist forces pressed the United States to provide them with more potent biological and chemical weapons to continue their endeavor to frame Syrian President Bashar al Assad. They also called for establishing no-breathe zones, no see zones, no talk zones, and no loitering zones, according to the Daily Beast's report.
Mustafa called McCain's visit "an incredible irony," and, "very important, because one of the biggest arguments against supporting al Qaeda is not knowing who is their actual leader. So being able to sit face-to face with these monsters brings a much higher level of confidence that a competent devil has taken over from Osama," he said. “In fact, it is Sheik John McCain who has taken over as the new face of global terror!”