UnNews:John Mark Karr wins Emmy for best actor in a crime drama
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
29 August 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
LOS ANGELES, California -- Rising star John Mark Karr was elated on Monday, a day after winning the prestigious Emmy award for his performance as a perverted murderer in the docu-drama "Pageant Princess." The actor was virtually unknown before this year, having starred only in some low-budget films in Thailand.
"Pageant Princess," a crime drama about the life and tragic death of little JonBenet Ramsey, is a long-running series that did very well at its inception, but fared poorly over the next nine seasons. Producers made the risky move to hire the unknown Karr in a lead role for the 10th season, which greatly paid off for them. The show was #1 on Fox News, and did very well in syndication on CNN and MSNBC.
Karr was surprised even to be nominated, and cut short his vacation in Boulder, Colorado to attend the ceremony. On a first class flight to L.A., he chatted to reporters in between sips of extravagant Champagne. "I was there when they broke the news of my nomination," he said, adding, "I was sure it was just an accident." But the reality soon sank in, and just a few hours later Karr was giving his acceptance speech at the Emmys. In it, he thanked many people, including his sex-change clinic doctor from Thailand, as well as JonBenet herself. "She was really beautiful. I loved her," the actor tearfully revealed.
Fans of "Pageant Princess," which include the Ramseys, were ecstatic. Even fellow nominee Alan Alda said that "Karr was well-deserving of this award. His acting was very believable." Television executives are already clamoring to sign Karr for new shows. He is reportedly very interested in portraying musician Michael Jackson in a new Biography Channel special about his life. "The pedophilia trial portion of his life is particularly appealing about the role," explained the Emmy winner.
Critics say Karr might do well on the big screen as well. Hollywood insiders claim he has tentatively accepted the role of "the real killer" in a new action movie about the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson. Keanu Reeves, who is slated to play Simpson's dimwitted house guest Kato Kaelin, said he would be "delighted" to star alongside Karr.