UnNews:John Mark Karr confesses to Lindbergh baby kidnapping
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
John Mark Karr confesses to Lindbergh baby kidnapping
Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard
Saturday, July 30, 2016, 11:16:UTC)(
17 August 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
"I loved Charlie," John Mark Karr told assembled reporters. "I was with Charlie when he died; his death was an accident."
Charles Lindbergh, Jr. disappeared from his parents' home on March 1, 1932. After an exhaustive two-month search, the body of the toddler was found by the side of a highway on May 12, 1932. German immigrant Bruno Hauptmann was later convicted and executed for the crime, proclaiming his innocence to the end.
"I deeply regret what happened to Mr. Hauptmann, for he was an innocent man," Karr said. "Because I killed the Lindbergh baby, pretty much."
Boulder Police Department sources said Thursday it was too early to draw conclusions from the confession, but noted similarities between the cases that "seem more than coincidental." Like the Ramsey case, a note was left in the Lindbergh kidnapping. In addition, Ramsey and Lindbergh were both children.
New Jersey Attorney General Zullma Fuller said Thursday that the confession meant an "important breakthrough" in the seven-decade-old case, but warned that "a great deal of work remains" before matters proceed to court.
Several experts, however, have questioned Karr's confession, noting that he could not have been in Englewood, New Jersey at the time of the kidnapping, as the abduction occurred 32 years before his birth.
"I invented a time machine," Karr said in response to questions about it. "I invented a time machine because I loved Charlie so much. What happened was an accident."
"I deeply admired Edward V and his brother, and I wanted to be with them after their father died," he said. "I thought he needed some instruction before taking on the duties of kingship. I realize that Richard III has been implicated in their murders, and I want the world to know that it was me."
Authorities would not comment on Karr's possible role in the sinking of the H.M.S. Lusitania.
- Hauptmann, Bruno "Teacher displays Einstein's errors; Lindbergh Baby Kidnapping". FBI Files, August 17, 2006
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|