UnNews:John Constable to be kept in Britain
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
John Constable to be kept in Britain
UnFair and UnBalanced
Tuesday, December 1, 2015, 19:35:UTC)(
12 November 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
LONDON, England -- John Constable, a retired police officer local to the Suffolk area, has been ordered to be kept in Britain.
John, 61, was on his way to a well deserved holiday in Málaga, but was stopped at customs in Heathrow Airport. He was held back from getting onto the plane, and then put in a cell. Heathrow have denied to give a statement on what Constable was detained for, and has told workers not to release any information.
A source, that wants to be kept anonymous, has released the following statement on this intriguing event.
“Police have said it has something to do with the Da Vinci Theft,” Michael Burton, Terminal 1, Security.
The customs officer suspected John Constable because of what he was wearing. John was seen on security cameras with: a black and white striped jumper, a black mask and a black woolly hat.
The government has banned the man from leaving the country, due to advancements in the Da Vinci Theft.
"Mr. Constable has long been regarded as major importance to the case, but was never thought of as a suspect," Scotland Yard, "We are holding him as part of our ongoing investigation. A full statement will be released shortly."
When asked about the motive of the theft Scotland Yard stated:
"Mr. Constable was an ambitious artist, but his work never got noticed. The main motive is probably jealousy."
A decision on whether Constable is the masked thief, will be made on January 11th 2007.
- "The government has temporarily barred the export of John Constable". BBC News, November 12, 2006