UnNews:Jill Stanek wins pro-choice Sanger Award!
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
11 June 2009
MOKENA, Illinois - At her house on Sundance Trail, conservative pro-life advocate Jill Stanek was presented with the Sanger Award for her tireless efforts to inform women of where they can go for late term abortions. Her website posts the names and addresses of all late term abortion providers in America.
Across America, this choice was hailed as an 'of course', given the time and effort that Jill has saved unwed mothers, teenage girls, the raped and abused, sluts, hos, tramps, strumpets, the reader's mother, and other women who just can't keep their legs closed. "I like, had no idea where I could go for like this abortion I wanted", said Angie P., a 15 year old runaway. "I had like put it off and off, while trying to hook back up with Rico, and now was like eight months along! That's when, like, I was tipped off to check out Jill Stanek's site! Like, sure enough, she had the names and addresses of what few doctors out there provide that kind of thing! She like even had pictures of the building, which is like, great, as I suck at directions! Thank you, Jill!"
Cecile Richards, President of Planned Parenthood agrees. "We have a hard time finding a doctor to provide late term abortions, and frankly, without the efforts of Jill Stanek, I don't know what we'd do. But she tirelessly does all the leg work for us, and keeps her site updated for all of us as to who does those jobs, where they live, where their offices are, and what email address, phone number, cell phone and office phone to call them at. She even has copies of their own advertisements posted at her site! What a treasure that woman is! She full well deserves the Sanger Award!"
The presentation ceremony did seem to come as a surprise to Jill, though. When asked how she felt about knowing that over 3,000 women credited her just this past year with helping them end their pregnancies, she rubbed her eyes and said, "How did you find out where I live, what are you doing at my home?" When it was explained that several websites, including Wikipedia and the pro-life Life Issues Institute, Inc., have information as to where she lives, she grumbled, "What an invasion of privacy! You all should be ashamed of yourselves!" before slamming the door.
The Sanger was left on her front step, as were the best wishes of millions of Americans who have turned to her for help in getting abortions.
- Emily Douglas "Operation Rescue, Jill Stanek: Only Too Happy to Aid and Abet". RH Reality Check, June 3, 2009