UnNews:Jericho 'confident' it can wall out immigrants

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Jericho 'confident' it can wall out immigrants

Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out

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11 September 2015


Jericho's migrant crisis.

JERICHO, Canaan -- Respected city elders of Jericho have expressed their determination to keep out the latest wave of immigrants from Egypt. This follows the huge exodus of immigrants/refugees/scroungers from Egypt when a local rabble-rouser called Moses promised free milk and honey in the land of Canaan.

A wave of people have crossed the sand and parted the Red Sea to reach a land they have been told is "just for them." Calling themselves the "Israelites," their leader Joshua is demanding the Jericho authorities let them into the city.

The city's Homeland Security officials advise against it, as the immigrants have declared their intention to smite and kill all those who are opposed to God's Will. However, father-and-son politicians argue that Jericho bears original responsibility for the wanderers' plight, and has a duty to take in all that the Human Services budget can allow. "Maybe more," they said (though they will not overpay, as they are fiscal conservatives).

"The proof of our claims is in the Ark of the Covenant," said Joshua. "This land has been promised to us and we are going to take it, build our own settlement on the ruins and get a prophet to write a book to say this was a manifestation of divine will."

The High Priestess Merk-El of the Cult of Bel-End had wanted to open the gates to the city to Jericho as she said 'it could afford to' but she was by others on the council. They say the walls of Jericho could withstand anything and that the Israelites were "blowing their trumpets out of the wrong end."

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