UnNews:Jeff Coatsworth arrested in corruption scam
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jeff Coatsworth arrested in corruption scam
Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!
Tuesday, September 27, 2016, 10:36:UTC)(
17 November 2010
NEW YORK CITY -- Jeff Coatsworth, a leading lawyer working for controversial law firm Nicholson, Hewitt, and West (NH&W), was arrested Tuesday afternoon in connection with the alleged attempt to bribe judge Mac O'Donnell, who is currently presiding over a lawsuit filed against Tuckahoe Funland, an amusement park which was sued by NGOs for serving contaminated corndogs.
The lawyer--who was seen interviewing Marshall Ericksen in the third season of CBS sitcom How I Met Your Mother--was whisked out of his office Tuesday afternoon, yelling "And I'd do it again," before facing the cameras and pleading "I'm innocent, I'm innocent!"
Members of the board at NH&W have denied having any connection with the scam. A board member has said "We had absolutely no idea one of our employees would be charged with such a felony. If proven guilty, we will cut him loose immediately."
NH&W has been under persistent fire from environmentalists, who have claimed "the firm sponsors evil polluters and corporate fat-cats who should be taught a lesson on what they're doing to planet Earth." It has defended a number of corporate firms which have been charged with violations of health and safety norms, as well as defying environmental laws. The fact that these firms have usually been cleared of all charges has lead to allegations of malpractices and use of unfair means by the lawyers working at the firm.
While the firm maintains a safe distance from Jeff Coatsworth at the moment, this incident is sure to fuel the already raging controversy surrounding NH&W.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|