This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
11 May 2010
YOKAHAMA, Japan -- Long disgusted by the offensive behavior, odors, and general existence of non-Asians, the Japanese Information Ministry has been openly tasked with turning "gaijin, kokujin, and other filth" , off of Asian girls, especially hot ones.
Japans Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry and Ministry of Finance are working with the Financial Services Agency to determine a course of action, aimed at preventing a hot Asian chicks bubble from forming in the United States.
Minister for Foreign Affairs Katsuya Okada told a crowd of nationalistic Yukio Mishima fans today that, "we (the Japanese people) are just sick of exploitation at the hands of Western countries, especially the Americans. For years we have taken a passive stance in world affairs, deferring military defense to our allies, and allowing them to reside in our Pure Land for this purpose. Hot young chicks have been leaving Japan, following their GI husbands back to the States. Many others are lured to foreign shores with promises of a good life for a hot Asian chick. No more, I say!"
As Japans most valuable commodity, a hot Asian chick trade imbalance has been building since the end of the second world war. Some economists are predicting a burst in the hot Asian chick bubble before the end of 2010. This could result in a resurgence of right wing sentiment in the country, and the election of of those with a nationalistic agenda.
- ↑ Japans Ministy for Foreign Affairs documents referring to Caucasians, Blacks, and other non-Asians in derogatory language.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|