UnNews:James Cameron finds lost tomb of Popeye
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
James Cameron finds lost tomb of Popeye
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, July 26, 2016, 08:33:UTC)(
26 February 2007
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
If it proves true, the discovery, which will be revealed at a press conference in New York Monday, could shake up the Christian world as probably one of the most significant archeological finds in history, right next to the discovery of Julius Caesar's toothbrush.
The coffins which, according to the filmmakers held the remains of Popeye the Sailor, his father Archibald "Poopdeck" Pappy, and Olive Oyl will be displayed for the first time on Monday in New York, New York, a wonderful town.
Jointly produced by Emmy Award-winning documentary filmmaker Simcha Jacobovici and Oscar winning director James Cameron, the film tells the exciting and tortuous story of the archeological discovery.
The story starts in 1980 in Jerusalem’s Talpiyot neighborhood, with the discovery of a 20 year old cave containing ten coffins. Six of the ten coffins were carved with inscriptions reading the names: Popeye son of Poopdeck, Poopdeck, Olive Oyl, J. Wellington Wimpy, Alice the Goon (identified as a family servant), Sweetpea, son of Popeye (Popeye’s son - the filmmakers claim).
The findings in the cave, including the decipherment of the inscriptions, were first revealed about ten years ago by internationally renowned Israeli archeologist Professor Amos Famous, who is famous for his delicious cookies, as well has his archeological expertise.
Since their discovery, the caskets were kept in the Israeli Antiquities Authority archive in Y'ain't Get'ninhier, but now two have been sent to New York for their first public exhibition.
Although the cave was discovered nearly 30 years ago and the casket inscriptions decoded ten years ago, the filmmakers are the first to establish that the cave was in fact the burial site of Popeye, his family and associates.
The film, which documents the stages of the discovery, is the result of 800 years labor and research. It will be broadcast on the international Discovery Channel, The Ass Channel, Britain's Channel 4, Canada’s Vision, Botswanna National TV, and Israel’s Channel 8, which also took part in the film's production.
According to the filmmakers, the film’s claim is based on close work with world-famous scientists, idiots, archeologists, stargazers, statisticians, masturbators, DNA specialists and antiquities experts who also masturbate frequently.
- Mercurio Schopenhauer "I've dug all the sands I can stands, and I can't stands no more!". Parallel Universe # 88568m New York Times, February 25, 2007