UnNews:Italy may replace France as main UN peacekeeping force
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||UnFair and UnBalanced|
21 August 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
BEIRUT, Lebanon -- Israel has objected to France's lead as the UN peacekeeping force deployed to the region, for the primary reason that France only has an army of 30+ soldiers. Fears now grow that Italy and France may become rivals in the European Union over this issue, and that a maintaining a stable peacekeeping force may become a problem.
"We don't want France to butt heads with Italy," stated George W. Bush at a recent press conference. Some leading analysts suggest that France may not be fully capable of keeping peace in the region with other countries such as Switzerland, Sweden, and Finland also part of the peacekeeping force. Some even firmly believe that this peacekeeping force may be overwhelmed upon deployments to Lebanon and Israel.
A majority of the front-line peacekeeping forces will be comprised of soldiers from mostly Muslim countries such as Indonesia, Malaysia and Bangladesh. These soldiers are expected to be armed with sticks and rocks.
Israeli politicians expressed their frustration with the UN, stating, "How can the UN give us soldiers from some of the poorest, weakest, and most pussiest countries out there? Whatever happened to the United States sticking its nose in everything?!"
France, however, appears to have second thoughts on Lebanon. French Ambassador to the UN, Homme Faible, affirmed this earlier this evening, stating that the French government is fresh out of weapons after selling them all to Saddam Hussein several years ago. "We sold our weapons to buy some new ones," says Faible, "but I guess we didn't break even, so we wound up just using the money to buy some computer paper for the office."