UnNews:It's NOT Macho Time, nor will it ever be again
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It's NOT Macho Time, nor will it ever be again
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, December 7, 2016, 14:36:UTC)(
26 November 2012
Bayamón, Puerto Rico -- The great
ly retarded, uncoordinated, and unintelligible boxer Hector "Macho" Camacho died last Saturday, aged 50. He had been shot in the head last Tuesday, as well as a friend (who died instantly), and had been dying since then. It appears he had been drunk and buying drugs.
Newly arrived to the hospital last Tuesday, the doctors had hope that he would survive and they were like, "If he wakes up, he will most likely have difficulties walking and talking." His mom walked up to them and said, "Well, in that case, he'll be just fine. He's always been like that."
The week went by. Still he did not wake up, and in fact became brain dead. And then his mom was like, "NOOOOO!!! He doesn't deserve this! He was such a good kid! NOOOOOOOO!!!"
And then he was disconnected and he died. For real this time. He left behind his mom, four sons, a truckload of brothers and sisters, and eleven truckloads of girlfriends and ex-wives.
edit A (hilarious) failed attempt to teach Macho to speak properly.
- ESPN staff "Hector 'Macho' Camacho removed from life support, dies at 50". ESPN, 24 November 2012