UnNews:Israeli army chief resigns: "I did it my way"
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Israeli army chief resigns: "I did it my way"
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, November 25, 2015, 12:54:UTC)(
19 January 2007
Half a year after the disastrous Israeli attempt to level Lebanon into the largest parking lot in the Middle East, since the Middle Easterns had been trying to do the same to Israel for the past 50 years with NO STUPID EARTHLINGS NOTICING, Israeli army chief of staff, Lt. General Dan Halutz steps down.
We here in UnNews present an exclusive copy of his resignation letter to the Israeli Prime Minister, Ehud Olmert:
And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final investigating committee.
My friend, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.
I've served for forty years.
I've bombed each and every Arab nation
And more, much more than this,
I bombed it my way.
Defeats, I've had a few;
But then again, what's a small war between me and you?
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.
I've loved, I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as the smoke disperses
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
After all, how could I be shy?
I am a pilot
For what is a general, what has he got?
If not his façade, then he has naught.
To conquer the things that bothers him;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I shot them all -
And did it my way!"