UnNews:Israel to create killer robotic bees
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Israel to create killer robotic bees
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, October 27, 2016, 05:14:UTC)(
30 November 2006
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JERUSALEM (UNN) -- Earlier today, Israel stated their plans to create killer robotic bees. The bees were reported to contain a stinger filled with either poison or air, which would cause the victim to suffer a seizure or heart attack.
This idea sprang out of a need to kill people who were hiding behind walls. Any competent Israeli soldier would simply take a handful of these bees and throw them in the general vicinity of the "bad guys", where they would instantly take flight and kill them. Moments before killing their victims, the bees would automatically take 3 pictures of their victims in order to observe who the soldiers actually killed.
When asked if he thought this could be "cruel" and or "unusual" punishment, Israeli Prime Minister Moshe Katsav stated "I believe Americans understand my sentiments most precisely," later qualifying his statement by bringing to light the recent release of "Batman Begins" where "Batman fears bats and has made it his soul mission for others to fear what he fears. I am no different: I hate and despise bees. Though, I don't run around my country and wear spandex. I mean, it is comfortable, but..."
General reaction to this news worldwide has come to the general consensus that "it scares the shit out of us." The Arab League meets later today in an emergency session called by Syria using the unorthodox method of the country's leader yelling "WE'RE DOOMED!!!" at the top of his lungs to all the other members of the League.