UnNews:Israel denies involvement in shark attacks

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 We distort, you deride

7 December 2010

Mossad-shark
Dreaded Jewish shark created by Steven Spielberg and sold to Mossad (according to WikiLeaks).

SHARM EL-SHEIKH, Egypt -- Egyptian officials believe that Israel's intelligence agency, Mossad, in conjunction with Universal Pictures, is behind the fatal shark attack of tourists in Sinai over the weekend, the Jerusalem Post reports.

"What is being said about Mossad buying the mechanical shark used in the film, Jaws, and throwing the deadly machine (in the sea) to bite tourism in Egypt is not out of the question, as WikiLeaks has confirmed," South Sinai Gov. Muhammad Abdel Fadil Shousha told egynews.net.

Israeli officials told the Jerusalem Post that the claims were ludicrous, and they could not stop laughing. “It’s the funniest thing I ever heard!” said one.

Egyptian authorities, who were not amused, have yet to reopen some Red Sea beaches that had been closed to swimmers after the unusual series of mechanical shark attacks over the past week.

Swimmers were not being allowed back into the water of several bays at Sharm el-Sheikh, a resort at the southern tip of the Sinai Peninsula that is a renowned sunken treasure diving spot. Diving remained restricted to those in shark-proof cages.

Shark attacks at Egypt's Red Sea resorts are unheard of, and three shark experts sent by Steven Spielberg, who sold the machine to Mossad, are trying to determine how to switch the man-eating contraption off.

Besides the death, fourteen other swimmers were badly injured. On Tuesday, Ziad al-Basel of Egypt's Chamber of Diving and Water-sports, said a limited number of bays were closed for swimmers until the Jewish beast can be stopped.

edit Sources

Personal tools
projects