UnNews:Irish chemist creates four leaf clover-marijuana hybrid
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Irish chemist creates four leaf clover-marijuana hybrid
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, December 4, 2016, 22:44:UTC)(
23 September 2006
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THE INTERWEB - A scientific breakthrough just in time for Saint Patrick's Day, the world's first Four Leaf Clover-Marijuana hybrid has been approved for private consumption. The only condition is that a wet towel be placed under the door prior to its use. The creation of this marvelous plant is sure to spark attention across the globe, and ensure that Ireland will be a famous country once again.
The new hybrid has been named The Four High-Ways Clover, but can be shortened to TfHC. Patty MacBrownie, the Irish chemist who created TfHC, has astonished the world by achieving his lifelong dream of proving beyond a scientific doubt that Four Leaf Clovers are indeed Lucky.
In Patty MacBrownie's vision, he sees TfHC growing in every yard on Earth. "Every Shamrock Shake served by McDonalds should include a few of my special leaves -- preferably in multiples of four," he commented. Mental Dimensions attempted a longer interview, but Patty appeared to be a bit drowsy. He offered us some brownies and sent us away to digest this new information.
Outside of Party McFarty's Pub, we asked a frequent visitor of the establishment for a quick interview. When we inquired about his opinion on the hybrid, Reefer O'Keefe stated, "It's nice to have an alternate method of intoxication. Green beer is a nice touch on Saint Patrick's Day, but I prefer to drink lime vodka year-round. The only time my routine gets upset is when evil leprechauns cast spells on me. I could only ingest green kool-aid the last time I was cursed; anything else I drank made me throw up."
"I'm quite happy to take part in Patty's experiments, I get quite a kick out it, it makes me feel really good, like I'm flying..." Reefer O'Keefe abruptly strolled away, taking his green umbrella with him. We realized he must have been quite hungry, because he walked straight into the glass door of a bakery shop across the street.
The effects of The Four High-Ways Clover are yet to be known. Many people feel very happy about the new creation. Alternatively, there are some government officials who feel negatively, but they usually put everyone on a real bummer so it's recommended to simply avoid them.
- Andy Alt "Irish Chemist Creates Four Leaf Clover-Marijuana Hybrid". Mental Dimensions blog, September 23, 2006