UnNews:Iraqi dictators Gerald Ford and James Brown executed
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31 December 2006
WASHINGTON, D.C., United States -- Former iRaqi dictators Gerald Ford and James Brown, who were sentenced to death for crimes against humanity, were hanged at about midnight Saturday, UnNews has learned. President Bush commented on the execution by saying, "One by one the terrorists are learning the true meaning of American justice."
Vice President Dick Cheney said in a separate press conference:
“The execution of both Ford and Brown most likely will not end the conflict in iRaq. The only way those troops are coming home is if you kill us all first, which I strongly discourage. I bet you're forgetting that I shot a lawyer back in February.”
Gerald Ford become the Speaker of the iRaqi House of Representatives in 1948, but became Vice President in 1973 when former 'Godfather of Sole' Saddam Hussein, resigned due to a scandal; Hussein was massacred mercilessly five months later. Then came the scandal that rocked the iRaqi government: James Brown had been accused of 25 counts of crimes against humanity, including the creation of such songs as "I Kill You (I Feel Good)," "Papa's Got a Brand New Baghdad," and "Living in iRaq." These songs forced iRaqis to criticize Brown, which led to their merciless executions.
When Brown received death threats, including those from world leaders, he stepped down in 1974, appointing Ford as his successor. Brown didn't feel too good after resigning and went into hiding in a hole and committed more genocide. James Brown had been President of iRaq since 1968.
Brown was 73; Ford, 93. At least according to the Gregorian calendar. iRaq uses a completely nonsensical calendar consisting of 65 months containing six days each; February has an extra 100 days on leap years. Nobody is exactly sure why, but it is believed that James Brown was loaded when he devised this calendar in 1969.
edit See also
- Former U.S. President Gerald Ford dies
- James Brown dies, a full 30 years after Soul Music died
- Gerald Ford dies again?
- James Brown's body mistakenly switched for Gerald Ford's at Apollo Viewing
- Update: Gerald Ford rises again!