UnNews:Iraq wins war; United States declares total surrender

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19 February 2008

Douchebags

A visibly angry George Bush(left), former president of the United States, shakes hands with Vice President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Wahington D.C., United States-- The seven-year War On Terrorism ended today with the total and unconditional surrender of the United States of America, a former world superpower nation.

The declaration of surrender came as no surprise to the international community, as the U.S., now a territory of Iraq, had been steadily losing the war for the past several years. The loss of the war has been attributed to a number of political and economic shortcomings, including a crumbling economy, overwhelming war debts, and, in particular, a failed presidency. George Walker Bush (pictured left), has had the lowest approval ratings in the history of the former nation, and is largley blamed for the deaths of thousands of troops and the fall of the U.S. itself, which has been likened to the fall of the Roman Empire.

Meanwhile, newly appointed governor of the Former American Territory of Iraq, General Osama Bin Laden, made his first public appearance in years earlier this morning, honoring fallen Iraqi persident Saddam Hussein, who, while unpopular in international politics, had maintained higher approval ratings and living standards than Bush.

"Today," said Bin Laden, "marks the death of the greatest evil the world has ever known. We celebrate the dawn of an age of peace and freedom for everyone men!" And, in all likelyhood, he's probably right.

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