UnNews:Iraq disaster forces British Army to deploy royalty as cannonfodder

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14 January 2007

Queen-military

The queen is currently undergoing intensive training at Sheffield Army Base to prepare her for deployment

LONDON, England -- Due to the large scale disaster currently ongoing in Iraq, the British army has announced that it will be drafting a number of members of the Royal family into the army; originally planned only to draft Crown Prince Charles, a last minute change was made and the Queen is now also being called upon to fight for... herself apparently.

Many fans of the Royal family are outraged, as it has been stated that the Queen will be utilised to provide suppressing fire against an expected barrage of insurgents rushing in from the Pakistan border and hence making the death of the Queen in the line of duty a distinct possibility although the Queen herself stated that she has been on several hunting trips in the past, and that she believes herself to be a "Crack Shot".

Despite this, a protest is already planned to be held two weeks time when approximately 4000 people are expected to turn out to decry the continuation of sending troops into the wartorn Iraq with one anonymous opponent of the Iraq war stating; "Essentially, We're fucked... they just won't admit it".

Skeptics however believe the claim of sending the Royal family into battle is actually a publicity stunt aimed at increasing what are currently significantly low levels of support for the Royals from the British Public although UnNews attempt to directly contact their publicity office to confirm this was unsuccessful with the only offered reply from an unnamed official being:

"Look... you're asking a fucking stupid question which nobody is going to answer, furthermore I have no idea what you're on about with some hairbrained idea the Queen is actually getting shipped to fucking Iraq of all places, what sort of half-arsed fucking newspaper are you?"

When informed that he was on the record he replied with "No Comment".

More on this story as it unfolds.

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