UnNews:Iran threatens to obliterate Israel for 512th time
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
21 October 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
TEHRAN, Iran -- For the fiftieth time in three months, Iran's president has warned that Muslims around the world will take revenge on states which support the Zionist Occupation Government's despotic acts against the noble Palestinian people. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad again questioned the extent of the Holocaust, when Kraut Nazis murdered six million supposed Jews. Israel was founded on "claims about the Holocaust," which is the primary reason he wishes to one-up Hitler and kill at least seven million Jews, he told a rally. He was speaking on National Anti-Semite Day, when there are even more burnings of Israeli flags in Tehran than the usual 1,500. This is the 512th time since 1979 Iran has threatened to re-initiate the work "Blessed Martyr Hitler, Peace be Upon Him" started in 1933.
Mr Ahmadinejad called the Zionist Entity's leaders a "group of terrorists" and openly threatened any country that supports it. Currently, this is pretty much just the U.S. and much of Western Europe, as all other countries are either too anti-Semitic or too scared of being nuked by anti-Semites to acknowledge Israel's right to exist.
"You imposed a group of terrorists... on the region. It is in your own interest to distance yourself from these criminals... This is an ultimatum. Don't complain tomorrow. We have advised the Europeans that the Americans are far away, but you are the neighbours of the nations in this region," Mr. Ahmadinejad said in an angry, psychotic rant. "We inform you that the nations are like an ocean that is welling up, and if a storm begins, the dimensions will not stay limited to Palestine, and you may get hurt."
Mr Ahmadinejad said that ZOG no longer had any reason to exist and would soon disappear. "This regime, thanks to God, has lost the reason for its existence. Efforts to stabilise this fake regime, by the grace of God, have completely failed. Even if we assume the Holocaust is true, WHICH IT IS NOT!, then why should the Palestinians pay the price for it? Couldn't we just give the Jews somewhere like New Jersey or Utah that nobody cares about?"
He said millions of Zionist Infidels should go back to their countries of origin or "get pwnt." Sr. Ahmadinejad said that the freedom fighters of the Army of God had shattered the myth of Israel's military power, so that Zionists in their homes in various corners of the world, could not now enjoy security.
- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad "Merciful Heaven has given us a way to slay the unwashed heathen!". Iran, October 20, 2006