UnNews:Iran leads way towards world peace
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
17 April 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Tehran, Iran - Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced today that Iran has completed its nuclear enrichment process and will begin to supply its country with cheap, and affordable energy as an alternative to the sparsely available petroleum that the oil starved nation had previously relied on. This, in addition to the beautification program aimed to help clean the 'dying, rotten trees' from Israeli parks, has greatly helped to increase the positive image Iran has cultivated for itself after consistent efforts to help the world.
Along with its peaceful nuclear power, and gardening program, Iran continued to woo the world to its side after announcing the creation of a 40,000 person strong force of volunteer paramedics and doctors, ready to be sent to the United States of America and United Kingdom to help with the shortage of such trained professionals. They intend to give hope to children and elderly citizens alike by helping them through trying times with thorough and steady care.
Earlier this year Ahmadinejad set the tone by announcing initiatives to provide up to date maps of the region to schools throughout the Arab world to the United Nations General Assembly, stating "We must wipe away the old maps and educate our people about the world around them, so that acceptance will be more widespread amongst all of God's children." Tears streamed down the faces of the proud and emotional audience of diplomats as he outlined articulate plans to strengthen the relationship between Israel and greater Arab world.
Tomorrow a planned meeting between Pope Benedict XVI and the Iranian President is highly anticipated, in which Hezbollah, the Iranian version of the Peace Corps, will be congratulated for its many years of extensive aid in the war torn region of Lebanon. The group was mentioned by the Pontiff in the annual Easter Mass and commended for its efforts towards a peaceful solution between Israeli's and Palestinians. It seems there is no end in sight for the accolades being received by Iran. Israeli elder statesmen Shimon Peres commented "I can be thankful that this world has such a positive force for good; the future has never looked brighter for our Jewish state, and the world."
- Associated Press "40,000 Iran suicide bombers ready to hit US, UK targets". Israel Insider, April 16, 2006