UnNews:Iran declares war on next hurricane
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|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
4 August 2006
TEHRAN - Only because you know it had to happen, and not that anbody could have guessed, Tehran suffering with a fit of child abandonment issues, declares war on the next hurricane.
"We can make more destruction than any wind, and by allah we declare jihad on hurricane alley and its hurricanes!!" claimed Crowned Prince Al-drunken-Ibob of Iran. "Everyone thinks they can ignore us, we can steal the lime-light...blah blah blah...yadda yadda..."
You get the picture. Hurricanes kick ass, just ask anybody from No Orleans. We at UnNews are obviously tired of pathetic, impotent Arab leaders who can't blow up their own blow-up doll. So really, how do they expect to take on a hurricane. That is just plain stupid.
"Well, quite frankly it is almost impossible to go to war with a hurricane," says meteorologist Hal Bobkins of the National Hurricane Center in Miami, Fl. "Unless you have something real to ask me, I need to get back to work, go away."
That's right, not even hurricane experts want to be bothered with this. I know what your thinking, this sounds like it was broadcast live on CNN or something. But thats not the case, UnNews broke wind on this story first, oh yeah take that CNN.
However as I go, I must leave you with the thought of hoards of iranian zealots chopping away at the blinding wind driven sea foam, all the while us 'mericans are cozy at home sipping our Coronas and our Bud Lights.
- Your Gonzo news source