UnNews:Iran attacks the US on American soil!
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Iran attacks the US on American soil!
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, July 6, 2015, 03:15:UTC)(
4 March 2012
Washington DC, Reuters -- Planes bearing the Iranian war logo are swarming the skies. Heavy bombs have already obliterated the Pentagon and numerous other civilian buildings, thanks to the Iranian army's incredible and unexpected strength. The Iranian Navy, like a lion playing with its prey before killing it, waits ashore after having destroyed the totality of American war vessels and fishing boats. The 245 nuclear carriers, designed to look like Leviathan on Djihad, seem to relish the moment before the final blow of Vengeance is dealt against the former oppressor.
It is rumored among the panicked citizens that another nuclear blast is coming from the almighty Persian Army. People are frantically going for the nuclear shelters but are being refused entry by the US government, since the official word is there are no such things as mass nuclear shelters as the authorities really didn't think an attack by the third world country would be possible.
Thousands of people are dying from the radiations from the nuclear blast. It's been rumored on the local radio that the US government carried out the attack and blamed it on Iran, but sensible news outlet like Fox News and CNN have been reporting that the third world country is actually conducting enormous nuclear attacks.
"Hide under your desk, and when the occasion presents itself, DIE WITH HONOR" said the propaganda Minister, Hillary Clinton, from her causy bunker 10,000 feet under the Rockies.
Update: UnNews just received another communication from Reuters: I hope you didn't publish that, as the Iranians don't even have aircraft carriers or any intentions of going to war against anybody. We were just kidding lol.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|