UnNews:Iran's Ahmadinejad slams devil

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search


This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.

9 June 2010

Devilish1

”Uncle Mahmoud wants you!”

ISTANBUL, TurkeyIranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad hit a strident tone on a variety of devilish topics during a press conference on the sidelines of an Asian security summit in Istanbul on Tuesday.

A key item on the agenda at the summit is the devil’s influence in the Mediterranean. Ahmadinejad said that Israel's confrontation revealed the devil’s evil nature.

"It showed violence and hatred and war-mongering attitudes," he said at a news conference. "The devilish sound of the uncultured Zionists was coming out from their Uzis ... They are holding up the flag of the devil."

The raid led to the deaths of nine turkeys -- including one American ‘Thanksgiving’ turkey. As a result the Turkish nation is urging Israel to accept an Islamic atomic-exorcism ceremony.

Ahmadinejad congratulated Turkey, which has been planning a war with Satan following the raid.

Iran's own nuclear program has been another topic, which is under devilish attack at the summit. The United States expects to bring a new resolution on increased sanctions against Iran over its peaceful nuclear program to a vote in the United Nations Security Council this week.

By calling for a resolution instead of sitting down for talks with Iran, the United States is also playing into the hands of the devil, Ahmadinejad said.

"Within the framework of respect and justice, we're ready to negotiate with everyone. But to anyone who is going to resort to the language of the devil, the response is clear: ‘to hell with you!’" he said.

Ahmadinejad went on to commend Turkey and Brazil for recently negotiating a divine deal with Iran on a blessed uranium enrichment swap.

"The initiative marked the beginning of a new path -- the beginning of an end to the Jewish abomination," he said.

The United States, he added, missed an opportunity by embracing the devil.

Asked whether the raid on the flotilla last week will change the way countries vote in the Security Council, Ahmadinejad said the raid will change many things.

For Israel, he said, "the devil has actually rung the final countdown for its existence. It shows that it has no room in the world and no one is ready to live alongside it. Actually, no country in the world recognizes it, and you know that the devil’s regime is the backbone of the dictatorial new world order."

He added, "Maybe at the Security Council it will impact temporarily. But the devilish regime, by what it has done, has actually stopped its possibility to exist on planet Earth anymore."

edit Sources

Personal tools
projects