UnNews:Invisible Man evades capture

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This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Straight talk, from straight faces

24 June 2013

Invisibleman01

Have you seen this man?

QUITO, MOSCOW, DISNEYLAND Where is he? USA?

American security services are hunting the world for a man in bandages who leaked the story that President Barack Obama doesn't actually exist. In a shock revelation, fugitive/CIA/Illuminati operative Edward Snowden says Obama is really a hologram created in a top secret research facility know as Paranoia.

Snowden, who says his shock discovery has forced to flee the world and hide under bandages like a burns victim, discovered the awful truth about Obama when cleaning out his iTunes library.

"I really believed in this guy but now I have discovered he is a pseudo-three-dimensiona X-Box product," said Snowden. "I believe he is a token ethnic sprite from Send in the Drones who found his way out."

Now the whistleblower believes he has done the world a service by showing how the USA has been secretly accessing everyone's information. In a final message before he once again covered himself in bandages, Snowden said:

"I can't stay here. I may head to Egypt and lie low with the mummies, but by then I trust I won't be recognised. I expect Lord Snowdon [the former husband of Princess Margaret of England] will have a hard time if he fancies returning to the USA. His passport will get flagged up! But now I must away!"

Recent reports say the CIA have asked the British government to arrest a mountain in Wales.


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