UnNews:Internet memes declared dangerous for your health
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Internet memes declared dangerous for your health
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, January 21, 2017, 00:39:UTC)(
5 May 2009
In a recent study made by students at the University of T3h 1n73rn37, it was discovered that use of Internet memes can cause long-term nerdiness and/or death from lack of social contact.
The study involved the students visiting the houses of over 9000 people who were registered in their database as people who use Internet memes, and monitoring their activities. Out of those people, 9000 of them were obese, had no friends (not including their 10,000 MySpace friends) and generally had no social contact since they began using Internet memes. The one person who used memes, however did not meet these conditions was a 14-year old emo called <insert name here> who chose to remain anonymous.
“What the hell are you doing in my
mom'sbase ment? This is MY base ment! All my mom'sbase mentare belong to ME! GTFO!”
It was also discovered that using Internet memes led to usage of phrases that mean absolutely nothing such as "lol", "rofl" or "|_()|_ |_337 |-|@><()|2$!!!1111oneone111!!!1", commonly derived from these Internet memes. Usage of such terms is commonly referred to as "L33tsp34k", however most people choose to refer to this dialect as "Dude, what the hell does that say?"
Other symptoms of meme-usage include, but are not limited to, an uncontrollable urge to tell everyone you know that they are a n00b because you are more skilled at an MMORPG than them. However, the person usually does not play any MMORPGs, instead choosing social contact over contact with an NPC (n00bish P00p ch3w3r) because social contact is more intellectual than communicating with an NPC which involves continually reading random text which has no significance to the possibility of improvement to the meme-user's pathetic excuse for a life.
It is advised that you stay away from memes or you may end up like <insert name here>. Staring at your computer screen laughing in real life because someone said "$() 3y3 |-|£@|2[) J00 |_13|< |\/|(_)[)|<1PZ"