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[Insert description of burning house here]

[Insert today's date here]
[INSERT LOCATION, Here] - [Insert introductory setup here] [Insert unfunny joke here]

[Insert boring babble here] [Insert unfunny joke here]

[Insert political bias here] [Insert joke plagiarized from Jon Stewart here] [Insert reference to the President of the United States here] "[Insert words put into the President's mouth here]" [Insert another joke plagiarized from Jon Stewart here]

[Insert boring babble here]

[Insert reference to anti-Semitic Pope here] [Insert reference to the Nazis here] [Insert joke about pedophilic Catholic priests here] [Insert namedrop of the late Michael Jackson here] [Insert unfunny joke about the Pope's hat here]

[Insert boring babble here]

Cquote1 [Insert the farmer's description of the UFO here] Cquote2

[Insert namedrop of a blonde anorexic celebrity here] [Insert cliché about the blonde anorexic celebrity being a whore, attention and otherwise, here] [Insert sexual joke a 13-year-old would find hilarious here]

[Insert boring babble here]

[Insert closing joke that was plagiarized from The Onion here]

edit [Insert sources here]


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[Insert link to an old news report related to the subject here]
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