|This article is part of UnNews||UnFair and UnBalanced|
29 December 2009
BACTRIA, Georgia -- A group of insane people, most of whom never met before, gathered in this rural town west of Atlanta to protest something. A Dover, New Hampshire man with reddish hair and a beard wandered about, muttering long strings of creative cursing. Three women in Afro wigs giggled as they poured condiments on a cage full of cats. A clown with his ass showing juggled donuts, while screaming about the nutritious value of Beef Rings.
Most carried signs, babbled, swore, spit, had sex with invisible spirits, and otherwise cavorted, whooped and hollered. "The term Bat Fuck Insane keeps coming up," says local Sheriff Furlong Minge of the Goober County Sheriffs Department. "We tried hosing them down, but they seem to like it. The police dogs are scared shitless of them, and we're running out of options."
Further efforts to stem the tide of lunacy only fanned the flames, as several Ministers, Priests, and Chaplains tried talking their own brand of nonsense back to the crazies. "God, God, smokes a cod, smokes Him some crack, gives me a smack," said an anonymous nutter as he dove naked into a tub of liquid nitrogen.