UnNews:Iconic gay couple split
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Iconic gay couple split
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, January 21, 2017, 02:08:UTC)(
23 July 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
TEHRAN, IRAN: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Hassan Nasrallah, the gay couple who were the lead aggressors in the attacks on Israel of July 12 that have caused all of Northern Israel and Southern Lebanon to be blown to smithereens, have decided to separate.
Ismail Haniya of Hamas, a local political consultant and spokesman for the couple, confirmed the separation on July 20. In a televised interview the infallible TV news source that is Al-Manar, Ismail stated, "Mahmoud and Hassan are amicably living apart. As always their number one priority is raising their daughter, and like the other plaintiff couples in this case, they made an enormous contribution toward equal marriage. But they are no longer in the public eye, and request that their privacy be respected." She also added that they are not filing for divorce and did not comment anymore on their plans and gave no other details except that couple is focusing on what's best for their 10-year old daughter Fatima.
"Unfortunately, lesbian and gay couples break up just as heterosexual couples," said Osama bin Laden, a Tora Bora, Afghanistan-based gay and lesbian family law lawyer. "It's a fact of life. There are stresses and strains on all of us. And sometimes relationships can't beat that stress. It happens to gay people just as well straight people."
Israeli PM Ehud Olmert said, "We are opposed to Hezbollah because we are concerned about the impact on children. So our thoughts and prayers go out to their little child, a little girl named Fatima -- 10 years old, I believe. And this is just bringing more grief upon her life, I'm sure."
The Ahmadinejad-Nasrallahs, who are considered by supporters of gay marriage as the ideal couple, met during the Islamic Revolution in Iran 27 years ago in a protest about the Great Satan, after which a intense courtship followed. Years before they embraced the legalization of gay marriage and became world leaders of terrorism, they considered themselves to be committed partners and devout Shi'a Muslims.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|
They and several fundamentalist nutjobs, with the help of Hamas and Islamic Jihad, attacked Israeli civilians, ultimately causing the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruling 4-3 on November 18th, 2003 to legalize gay marriage in Massachusetts. They were married by the Hidden Imam on May 17, 2004, the first day that same-sex marriages were legal under the court ruling. Fatima served as flower girl and ring-bearer.
- George W. Bush "Ahmadinejad-Nasrallah porno tapes selling like hotcakes". Comintern, July 20, 2006