|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
10 November 2007
TRENTON, New Jersey -- Yuck! Guess what's for dinner tonight? BROCCOLI!!!
ARGH! Of all the possible choices for a good home-cooked meal, why does Mom have to choose one of the most horrible, god-awful abominations of this Earth? Why can't she make something decent for a change? I mean, look at our neighbors, enjoying beef pot roast for dinner. And my friends! Look, Fiona and her family are eating hamburgers. And what do we get? Steamed broccoli and some other crap I can't identify. And you know what's worse? We had the same crud to eat last night. I threw up and died numerous times when I ate that crap. Mother says that it's part of a low diet and it should burn off some carbs when eating this. Bull. Crap.
Now let me ask you this: have you ever had anyone force you to eat some crap to make you lose weight, despite the fact that you're perfectly normal? What, do you want my bones to show under my skin? I'm perfectly fine! I just joined the basketball team with my friends and we won in the seasonal. So why would I need to eat this shit? It's not like it's going to make me healthier. In fact, I heard that some crops of broccoli have E. Coli and can make you sick, so I don't know what's in Mom's head.
Well, at least I'm not alone. My sister and father also hate the crap Mother is putting on our dinner plates. I overheard my sister saying that she'll eat at her friends' house next time, and Dad says next time he'll buy us some KFC. I don't really like KFC either, but at least it's better than this junk Mom's giving us.
You may have probably been in this ridiculous situation, too. Sucks, doesn't it? I swear to God, If I ever see broccoli ever again, I'm going to get my father's hunting rifle and shoot the shit out of it!