UnNews:Icarus will fly again, says father
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Icarus will fly again, says father
Straight talk, from straight faces
Sunday, August 20, 2017, 23:17:UTC)(
8 July 2015
ATHENS, Greece -- Greece's leading feathered aeronaut Icarus will 'fly' again, says his father Daedalus. Icarus was found by a troop of passing naked sea sirens, who have since taken the young man to their underwater hospital to recuperate. He had last been seen flying towards Brussels to dazzle ferocious sea monsters Scylla and Charybdis. This was after Icarus and his father broke out of the palace of Queen Minos Merkel where she had been feeding Greek hopes to the ferocious Eurotaur.
"We had cast off our financial fetters and found a way to create our own wings out of recycled old Drachmas," said Daedalus. "I wanted to return to Athens but Icarus was intent to fly to Brussels and shit all over the European leaders, as they took a working picnic to settle our alleged debts to the Bull Market beast. He just flew too high over the Alps and then fell into the Sea of Screams (Lake Geneva)."
Pressed on whether he was sure as to his prediction about Icarus, Daedalus said that no one should underestimate the Greeks. There is yet no confirmation of Icarus's actual condition, but he is said to be enjoying the company of the Sirens and their enticing songs of Socialist Utopia.