UnNews:I Have Written This Headline

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14 August 2008

Imadethisimage

I made this image.

UNCYCLOPEDIA, World Wide Web - As you might have guessed, thanks to the rather self-explanatory headline, I have written this article. (I helped)[1] You might wonder how I can make an article out of those words. Well, then, if you are skeptical, you just sit back and watch.

Yes, it may be shocking to you, a mere Uncyclopedian, or perhaps some well known admin, that this article was written by me. No one else. Unless they make revisions. Which will be reverted by me. Do not think you can get away with those.

However, I have just made this new paragraph, and all of the text seen here was typed by one person. You would probably feel pretty cool if you added to this aticle. But no. This article was made by me. Me exclusively. No one else made this page. How do I know an article like this hasn't been Huffed before? It didn't warn me. So no one has made this. Just me. Never forget that now.

Now you continue to wonder how much more content I can shove in. Well as a matter of fact, I can go talk away on creating articles, which in fact would be fun. Or I can keep talking about how I made this. Anything works, really.

How might I have accomplished this task? Perhaps it was the thirteen Monsters that gave me the idea and the energy. Or perhaps not. Maybe I am high right now. Who knows. Any way, this sentence was written by me. As well as this paragraph, and this article. Not to mention this sentence. The next sentence was made by me too. Read the previous sentence. And now you might say that I have completely written this article? I think not.

Perhaps checking the history will convince you. I made all of this text, and whether you like it or not, I made the text. That's kind of redundant. Anyhow, you my find that I am the sole author. And proud of it. Seeing the genius of this article, I'm sure many of you will reach out to claim the glory, but in your hearts you know it was me.

I am the author. Not you, not him, not that guy in the corner wanking. If you are skeptical of the quality of this article, you shouldn't be. It was written by a great author reporter guy thing. That is me. Therefore, the article was written by me.

You might have noticed not only this article, but the headline at the top of the page was written by me. Isn't it impressive that I have written every thing of text on this page? It's really quite amazing. Seeing just how much one could write.

And by the way, this article was written by me. As well as this sentence. Believe it.

Except for this last line, that was written by somebody else.

  • AAAAAAA!

And this line, written by some dude on a computer...

  • Get out of my article you bastards!

I wrote this on a typewriter...

  • Last time I checked, typewriters don't have internet connection.

This was also written on a typewriter, before being transcribed to a web form.

  • Stop vandalizing my page, Dammit!

This line might have been me, but I'm not too sure who I am anymore.

Too late for that!

  • For god's sake stop!

Eat Shit

I wrote this sentence in this article that was supposedly written completely by someone else. This voids and nulls the entire article itself, thus making this article fake. Which actually just makes it even more fitting for Uncyclopedia, since we all know that Uncyclopedia is the place for all of your stupid shit. Wow, I've written a lot! CLAIMER: THIS CLAIMER AND THIS PARAGRAPH HAS BEEN WRITTEN BY ME AND ME ONLY. There; Perfect! Now nobody can claim that this sentence wasn't written by me. I have seemed to have written a little mini-article in this article that has not been written by me! How exciting and paradox-y. Speaking of paradoxes, have you played the game Portal? It's a rather fun game where you can shoot two different portals and jump through them. Using the portals, you must maneuver your way through obstacles that would usually be impossible. I wonder if Uncyclopedia has an article on Portal. I will check after I'm done righting. You see, I've spent a lot of time on this paragraph and I don't want it to go to waste. I was raised like that. Waste not, want not as they always say. What the fuck does that mean, anyway? I mean honestly. I have thought about it for hours on end, and yet I still can't find out what it means! Maybe I should Google it.

Did you know that Google is pro-net neutrality? It's true! That's why Google is super cool. If you don't know what Net Neutrality is, Google it! Speaking of Google, have you ever tried Googling Google? It's awesome! You end up having, like, 1 billion hits! Isn't the Internet so AMAZING?! I know what you're thinking: "HOLY SHIT YES IT IS!"

Anyway, I think I should stop talking now. I've had a rather dull day. Oh? You want to hear about it?

Okay!

Well, let's see...First I woke up and I brushed my teeth. Then I went downstairs and had a piece of toast. Then I watched TV for a little bit. After that I turned on my computer and started typing this! I think afterward I'll some macaroni and cheese. Probably pasta with a light Alfredo tarragon sauce. Does it sound good? I've never made it before, but I think it will be really good. After that I might see Tropic Thunder (Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr. are soooooooo hot/cute). It seems really funny and awesome.

Oh dear! I think I've typed an entire ARTICLE here in this article!

CLAIMER: EVERYTHING WRITTEN FROM "I wrote this sentence in this article that was supposedly written completely by someone else. This voids and nulls the entire article itself, thus making this article fake. Which actually just makes it even more fitting for Uncyclopedia, since we all know that Uncyclopedia is the place for all of your stupid shit. Wow, I've written a lot! CLAIMER: THIS CLAIMER AND THIS PARAGRAPH HAS BEEN WRITTEN BY ME AND ME ONLY. There; Perfect! Now nobody can claim that this sentence wasn't written by me. I have seemed to have written a little mini-article in this article that has not been written by me! How exciting and paradox-y. Speaking of paradoxes, have you played the game Portal? It's a rather fun game where you can shoot two different portals and jump through them. Using the portals, you must maneuver your way through obstacles that would usually be impossible. I wonder if Uncyclopedia has an article on Portal. I will check after I'm done righting. You see, I've spent a lot of time on this paragraph and I don't want it to go to waste. I was raised like that. Waste not, want not as they always say. What the fuck does that mean, anyway? I mean honestly. I have thought about it for hours on end, and yet I still can't find out what it means! Maybe I should Google it.

Did you know that Google is pro-net neutrality? It's true! That's why Google is super cool. If you don't know what Net Neutrality is, Google it! Speaking of Google, have you ever tried Googling Google? It's awesome! You end up having, like, 1 billion hits! Isn't the Internet so AMAZING?! I know what you're thinking: "HOLY SHIT YES IT IS!"

Anyway, I think I should stop talking now. I've had a rather dull day. Oh? You want to hear about it?

Okay!

Well, let's see...First I woke up and I brushed my teeth. Then I went downstairs and had a piece of toast. Then I watched TV for a little bit. After that I turned on my computer and started typing this! I think afterward I'll some macaroni and cheese. Probably pasta with a light Alfredo tarragon sauce. Does it sound good? I've never made it before, but I think it will be really good. After that I might see Tropic Thunder (Ben Stiller and Robert Downey Jr. are soooooooo hot/cute). It seems really funny and awesome.

Oh dear! I think I've typed an entire ARTICLE here in this article!" to the end of this claimer and the sentence after this claimer was written by me!

I think I'll stop typing right about........................................now.

edit Citations

  1. No you didn't bitch.
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