UnNews:I Am Built Like a 'Horse' Claims Italian Prime Minister
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!|
19 June 2009
The Italian newspaper La Repubblica has published a transcript of a conversation Silvio Berlusconi is said to have had with former American President Bill Clinton. It alleges that during a talk about the world economic situation , Berclusconi is alleged to have said that he 'was built like a horse' and had gone on to complain about reports about his tangled love life in the international press and tv networks. This is an edited extract has been published today by the newspaper:-
- Silvio Berlusconi:...You should have had her swimming with the fishes Bill once she told her friend about what you had done..I tell you in Italy, we know how to manage our sex lives so that it enhances your reputation.
- Bill Clinton. ...I couldn't do that Silvio - at least not after Chappaquiddick...Democrats aren't allowed to get away with murder anymore.
- Silvio Berlusconi...Ah Slicky Billy ! You Americans are so up tight with your puritans sticking their...what you say in English..forks up your asses. Now if you were an Italian politician - if you were with me, oh what a great double act we would have been . Now I am up their alone with the ugly German woman  , Pulliciniello  , Mr Bromide  and the Spanish one with the lizard eyes and a name like a Mexican bandit.. . I tell you Billio - we could have both hung it out together on the world stage and everyone would have clapped because I am built like a horse !..
- Bill Clinton...You sure are a funny little guy...
- Silvio Berlusconi...You mean funny like Joe Pesci ?? ha.ha....I modelled myself on him when I started in politics...
La Repubblica suggests that Berclusconi was talking to Clinton about how to handle a sexual scandal. They say that Berlusconi openly mocked Clinton's inability to stifle the news of his peccadillos when he was president :
- Silvio Berlusconi..first you buy the media and then become leader. That way no one can find out about what you do when you leave the office and go off into the night for fun. Murdoch could have done this but he was born with the Kangeroos so that ruled him out!
Noemi Letizia who speaks for the Italian leader on private matters at first denied that this conversation took place or that he had spoken about being 'hung (sic) like a horse' . However , she then called back UnNews and said it had been three way conversation as Berlusconi's command of English is known to be 'eccentric' . Letizia then claimed that what the Italian Prime Minister had actually said was I am built like a house . She went on to say that like a mansion , Silvio has many rooms he wants to keep locked and sound proofed and then added:
I know what I heard when Mr Clinton called...that article in La Repubblica was a big pile of horse manure..My daddy..I mean ..Mr Berlusconi..knows the difference between a house and a horse.
This latest news about the Berlusconi had been widely reported around the world but back in Italy it has been ignored by the mainstream Italian media. They said it was 'not news' and 'look...we know where our pay cheques come from ...
- ↑ Monica Lewinsky.
- ↑ German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
- ↑ French President Nicolas Sarkozy.
- ↑ British Prime Minister Gordon Brown.
- ↑ Spanish Prime Minister José Zapatero.
- ↑ That is the Latin spelling for sick.
- La Repubblica (English website).