UnNews:IBM to Release PS/3 computer line with OS/3
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Where man always bites dog|
25 September 2009
North America, New York, New York
After Intel announced a new Intel Atom CPU that will rock the socks off any other CPU in history, IBM decided to announce something else as well. IBM today has announced that it will be innovating IBM PC technology to a new level. Previously IBM tried to do this with the IBM PS/2 PC systems and IBM OS/2 only to be beaten by PC Clone makers like Compaq, Dell, HP, Gateway, Acer, Packard Bell, etc, and OS/2 replaced with MS-DOS and Windows 3.1 and later Windows 95 and up to Windows Vista.
Well IBM learned from its mistakes and is designing the IBM PS/3 PC system using state of the art USB 3.0, ePCI slots, eSATA drives, low energy use built in for green tech and green energy (It saves power by slowing down the CPU speed to Intel 80486 or lower levels of speed), it also has the BTX form factor case with a design to put Apple to shame, and a flux capacitor to even travel in time as an option provided the user can find a power source with 1.21 giggawatts and move the unit 88MPH in a Delorian. The IBM OS/3 operating system will be based on Red Hat Fedora Linux with the WIN-OS2 sub-system to run MS-DOS and 16 bit Windows programs, the OS/2 Merlin 4.52 Subsystem to run OS/2 32 bit and 16 bit programs (GUI or Command Line OS/2 programs for legacy software support for OS/2 1.X, 2.X, 3.X, and 4.X programs), and WINE to run 32 bit Windows programs. With OS/3 Pro and above IBM allows a downloadable Windows XP virtual machine using VirtualBox to run legacy software that doesn't work with OS/3 in native mode or via WIN-OS2 or WINE.
In 1939 IBM made the OS/1 operating system for their 120 Mainframes sold to Adolf Hitler in NAZI Germany for use in inventory control for the Holocaust. IBM is embarrassed by that and invented OS/2 with the IBM PS/2 series using IBM's own Microchannel MCA slots, but later changed to Intel's ISA and PCI slots later. Nazis still use IBM computers and OS/2 was a hit with Stormfront, and they look forward to the OS/3 on the PS/3 series. Big Brother preordered millions of units for use in 2010 during the US Census for a new inventory control system for the USA branded the
new holocaust universal health care screening to FEMA concentration camps free health clinics for undesirables like senior citizens, mentally ill, retarded, religious, conservative, etc. people who need them and are a burden to our society and of no value will be taken care of via a final solution to our problems.
“IBM tried this before, by having software that runs programs designed for a different operating system, nobody will want to develop for their own OS/3 native system. Linux didn't learn from it because the WINE system allows Microsoft Windows apps to run under Linux. I am going to short IBM stock when this comes out, and I'll be richer that Donald Trump for it.”
“WUT? As long as it runs Tetris and Duke Nukem Forever, I'll buy one.”
“Oh yeah, like that was never tried before! This one sounds like a real winner like Microchannel, Sony Betamax, or even the 8-Track Tape.”
They use the new form of Intel Atom processor that has 22 nanometer wafers. IBM claims they will partner up with Intel and make it 11 nanometer wafers and manufacture their own IBM branded Atom chips for the PS/3 series. This competes with the Microsoft 2012 PC design using the same specs as IBM but running Windows 7 instead of the Linux based OS/3.
Sony brought up a lawsuit against IBM claiming the PS/3 name infringes on their Playstation 3 line, and IBM countersued that the Playstation 2 infringes on their PS/2 line. IBM may have to rename the PS/3 to something else like the EvoPC, The Big Blue Meanie, MicroBlue, FailPC, or even "It is not a clone, it is an IBM personal computer!" but that would be too long. We at Unnews call it the UnPC.
Apple will counter with ARM based AppleTV units and a new line of Macintosh ARM systems using Mac OSX Snow Leopard and the new Universal Trinary PowerPC/Intel/ARM binary format for OSX executable programs. Apple just recently licensed the ARM CPU design to compete with the Intel Atom.
Microsoft will debut the PC 2012 standard using USB 3.0, ePCI slots, eSata with RAID built in, WiMAX built in, and call them Entertainment PCs and use the Intel Atom processor and a special version of Windows 7 based on the Atom code.
The old Intel X86 line will be phased out as PCs move on to the 64 bit Intel and AMD standards, as well as the Intel Atom standards. Intel and Microsoft basically say if people want to run legacy software they are shit out of luck in about 3 to 5 years as that technology won't be used anymore. Ever Onward IBM, Intel, and Microsoft! Your best bet would be emulation or virtual machines to run old legacy software, adding on to your costs of maintaining your systems by doing maintenance of emulators and virtual machines as well.
Oh yeah to save on costs IBM will be moving out of the USA and into China and the EU with lower tax rates. The IBM factories are already in China and Thailand for cheap labor and India is doing the engineering and software programming. But IBM insists that "Made in the USA*" stickers be put on each unit made. * With the USA meaning "United Serfs of Asia" as each foreign employee is treated like a serf in the sweatshop or factory and are united in the 80+ hour work week and $100 a month salaries to help keep costs down, plus they live and work in Asia. But the IBM PS/3 systems will be unpacked and installed and optinally troubleshooted and viruses removed in the USA by H1B Visa Workers earning minimum wage to help IBM compete against Geek Squad and Fire Dog and other US tech support companies.