UnNews:Hussein discouraged by death sentence, still leads in Ohio
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Hussein discouraged by death sentence, still leads in Ohio
Straight talk, from straight faces
Sunday, January 22, 2017, 02:02:UTC)(
6 November 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
Problems playing this file? You might be a dope.
CLEVELAND, Ohio -- Just days after his discouraging death sentence in front of an Iraqi court, polls show Saddam Hussein continues to hold a strong lead in the Ohio gubenatorial race on the eve of mid-term elections.
Hussein publicist, Sandy Feinberg, says the news from the polls is a shot in the arm to the Hussein campaign, which has recently suffered some setbacks with the death sentence for crimes against humanity and the Iraqi people, as well as fallout from the recent resignation of Ohio Rep. Bob Ney after he reached a plea agreement in a corruption scandal involving influence peddler Jack Abramoff.
"It's been a difficult time, but we've stayed on-message and I think you can see that reflected in the polls," said Feinberg.
Hussein, running as a Republican, leads by as much as 6 percent in some of the more urban of Ohio's 88 counties. His strong law-and-order and accountability platform, along with his proven leadership experience, have struck a chord with voters weary of legislator revelations of wrongdoing.
According to political pundit, Mark Tennison, much of Hussein's continued popularity among voters is a result of the man himself. "He's a skilled public speaker just slathering over with charisma," said Tennison. "You forget that whole Kurdish mustard gas thing and visualize how he could be working for you in Washington."
Hussein's opponent, Neil Klumens, expresses confidence in spite of the poll results. He commented, "I have faith in the voters that they'll be able to see through the hype and pick someone, myself, who will represent them better than a convicted genocidal mass murderer."