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Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, August 27, 2016, 22:29:UTC)(
28 July 2006
GLASGOW (AP) -- Today it was confirmed that the Xpert Eleven Pro league manager of Humpy's Bears has been caught scouring the green fields (pits) of Glasgow look for some "top totty".
His celebrity status has seen him score with such young whores as "Brenda o' the Govan Crew," and "Britney o' Castlemilk". "Girls" like this fit right into the manager's tastes. His signing polices are often compared to that of his pulling polices, and he likes his players and his girls "young and full of drugs," And frankly, who doesn't?
Of course, we at Glasgow Press think it's awful, such a man who is supposedly the coach at a top football team gets to walk around exploiting these women, he should be either locked up or elected to office.