UnNews:Hummus Wins Trademark Fight Against Hamas
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Hummus Wins Trademark Fight Against Hamas
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, December 4, 2016, 14:16:UTC)(
29 June 2006
HEILBURG, Belguim -- The International Association of Hummus Producers (IPDH) today claimed victory in their long trademark dispute with the militant Palestinian Islamic movement, Hamas. The decision was reached by an active committee of World Trade Organization representatives.
The WTO committee found validity in the claim by the IPDH that Hamas is constantly confused with hummus, and was damaging the scope and effectiveness of hummus sales and marketing efforts worldwide. "Hummus was quickly becoming equated with jihad holy war, and had a definite negative impact on sales," said Ahmad Ferinoush, Chairman of the IPDH.
Hummus, explained Ferinoush, is a bland paste made from chickpeas and frequently used on dry, tasteless pita bread, and its producers and distributors have never vowed death to Israel or used terrorist tactics in an effort to bring about Palestinian autonomy.
An anonymous spokesperson for Hamas said that while the organization still had hopes for an appeal, alternative names were already being consumer tested in preparation for the February 1, 2007, deadline, at which time Hamas will surrender all rights to the name. Among the new names being considered are, "Michrasoft," "Dissenay," and "Goughal."