UnNews:Humans evolved from dinosaurs
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Humans evolved from dinosaurs
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, February 8, 2016, 13:25:UTC)(
14 April 2011
NEUQUEN, Argentina -- For years scientists have searched for the alleged "missing link" between modern humans and early primates, and today in Argentina it was finally uncovered, although it wasn't what anybody was expecting.
The fossil, unearthed by palaeontologist Zandra Z. Zuccor and her team of diggers, shows the distinguishing features of the long-neck, long-tail plant-eaters like diplodocus, brachiosaurus and brontomerus - the largest land creatures ever to walk on Earth.
Palaeontologists see the recently discovered Leonerasaurus Taquetransis as the connection between the great apes of history and their much wiser, less hairy descendents. This theory is based on the fact that a small bone inside the dinosaur's spinal column is virtually similar to a small bone that both humans and apes have.
"This find is monumental," said Zuccor. "Not only does it finally tell us where we might have came from, but also where our ancestors might have gone to, if that makes sense," which, in this reporter's eyes, it does.
The find has caused much confusion however, and in many ways has only raised more questions on the nature of human evolution. Historians cannot fathom why early man would have evolved into dinosaurs, only to evolve back into men a few aeons later.
Many dinosaur specialists, however, believe that the find explains a lot. "We've been trying to figure out what happened to the dinosaurs for years, and now we know - it wasn't a meteor or an ice age - they evolved into us. It makes perfect sense."
It has also invited further speculation on the origins of the original dinosaurs, with scientists asking: could they have evolved from men too? Noted anthropologist Dwight Beaver has even suggested that we ourselves may one day become dinosaurs again, pointing out that the redundant tail bone belonging to all humans may be of evidence this. "We're all just vertebrates at the end of the day," he said. He also noted that such an evolution would be "cooler than words can describe. RAWR! I'm a dinosaur!"
Rob Hanson of Cardiff, Wales told our reporter that the whole thing sounded like utter nonsense to him. His opinion has been dismissed however because he doesn't even have a degree.